Khamis, 29 Disember 2011
5 Ways to Fight the Flu
The flu is annoying enough on its own. So it doesn't help that flu season falls at one of the most exciting times of the year. To avoid missing out on sports events, Halloween parties, Thanksgiving feasts, and holiday fun, follow these tips:
Get the flu vaccine. It's the best way to protect yourself against the flu. Hate shots? Most teens can get the flu vaccine as a nasal spray. Getting vaccinated doesn't just protect your own health. It also helps the people around you because there's less chance you'll catch the flu and pass it on.
Wash your hands often. In addition to getting the flu vaccine, hand washing is an important line of defense against germs like flu viruses. Why? The body takes about 2 weeks to build immunity after a flu vaccine — and even a vaccine isn't foolproof if a new strain of virus starts making the rounds. Hand washing also helps protect against other germs and illnesses that there aren't vaccines for, like the common cold.
Wash your hands after using the bathroom; after coughing or sneezing; before putting in or removing contact lenses; before using makeup; and before eating, serving, or preparing food. The great thing about hand washing is it's easy protection. So get in the habit of washing your hands when you come home from school, the mall, a movie, or anywhere else where you're around a lot of people.
Keep your distance if someone is sick (coughing, sneezing, etc.). Flu viruses travel through the air, so try to stay away from people who look sick. Of course, people who have the flu virus don't always look sick. That's where vaccines and hand washing come in.
It's also a good idea to avoid touching your nose, eyes, and mouth — three places flu viruses can easily enter the body.
Cough or sneeze into a tissue or your elbow — not into your hands. That way, you're not spreading the virus when you touch surfaces that other people may touch too.
Stay home if you have the flu. You don't want to pass your germs to someone else. And staying home is a great excuse to curl up and watch your favorite movie, play video games, or read. Rest can help the body recover faster.
You also can fight the flu on a daily basis by keeping your immune system strong. Some great immune boosters are getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods (including five or more servings of fruits and veggies a day!), drinking plenty of fluids, and getting regular exercise.
Don't let the flu mess with your fall and winter fun. Fight back!
What Are Wet Dream
I sometimes wake up with a wet, sticky spot on my underwear or pajama pants. It's not urine, so what is it?
Chances are that you had a "wet dream" — something that can be embarrassing and confusing to teen guys, but is completely normal. A wet dream is also known as a nocturnal emission. Nocturnal means "at night" and emission means "discharge." This makes sense because a wet dream is when semen (the fluid containing sperm) is discharged from the penis during ejaculation while a guy's asleep. Usually wet dreams occur during dreams that have sexual images. Sometimes guys wake up from a wet dream, but sometimes they sleep through it.
Wet dreams begin during puberty when the body starts making more testosterone, the major male hormone. Although some guys may feel embarrassed or even guilty about having wet dreams, they can't be controlled and you can't stop them from happening — most guys experience them at some point during puberty and even sometimes as adults.
Selasa, 20 Disember 2011
Hide and Seek
Hide and Seek is a creepy story about a young bride who goes missing before her honeymoon.
A young couple got married and, after the wedding, they held a reception in the bride’s grandmother’s house. All their family and friends arrived and they laughed, danced and sang, long into the night.
After the wedding reception, the guests decided to play a game of hide and seek. The groom covered his eyes and began counting to a hundred while his new bride and the other guests ran out of the room, looking for somewhere to hide.
Eventually, the groom had found everyone except his beautiful bride. The other guests began calling out her name and searched everywhere for the young woman. They began to grow more and more uneasy when they couldn’t find any trace of her.
Eventually they gave up searching and everybody assumed that the girl had run away and left her husband. As the weeks went by, the husband accepted that his beautiful bride must have had second thoughts about their marriage. He decided to forget about her and go on with his life.
A few years later, a cleaning lady was dusting in the attic when she came across an old trunk. Out of curiosity she opened it. Inside the trunk, she found the rotting corpse of a young woman, still dressed in a bridal gown. There was a wedding ring on one bony finger. It was the missing bride. She must have hidden in the trunk and accidentally locked herself inside. It was impossible to tell whether she had suffocated or starved to death, but her face was frozen in a silent scream.
A young couple got married and, after the wedding, they held a reception in the bride’s grandmother’s house. All their family and friends arrived and they laughed, danced and sang, long into the night.
After the wedding reception, the guests decided to play a game of hide and seek. The groom covered his eyes and began counting to a hundred while his new bride and the other guests ran out of the room, looking for somewhere to hide.
Eventually, the groom had found everyone except his beautiful bride. The other guests began calling out her name and searched everywhere for the young woman. They began to grow more and more uneasy when they couldn’t find any trace of her.
Eventually they gave up searching and everybody assumed that the girl had run away and left her husband. As the weeks went by, the husband accepted that his beautiful bride must have had second thoughts about their marriage. He decided to forget about her and go on with his life.
A few years later, a cleaning lady was dusting in the attic when she came across an old trunk. Out of curiosity she opened it. Inside the trunk, she found the rotting corpse of a young woman, still dressed in a bridal gown. There was a wedding ring on one bony finger. It was the missing bride. She must have hidden in the trunk and accidentally locked herself inside. It was impossible to tell whether she had suffocated or starved to death, but her face was frozen in a silent scream.
In The Light of truth
DEPARTED THIS LIFE
PERPLEXED AND LONELY, a soul stands in the chamber of death! Perplexed because the human being lying on the death-bed refused while on earth to believe in the continuity of life after the death of the physical body! He had therefore never seriously considered the matter and ridiculed all who spoke of it.
Confused, he looks around! He sees himself lying on his death-bed, sees people he knows standing about it weeping, hears the words they speak, and senses their grief as they lament his passing. He would like to laugh and call out that he is still alive! He does so, but is surprised to observe that they do not hear him. He calls again and again, louder and ever louder. The people do not hear it, but go on lamenting. Fear begins to arise within him, for he himself hears his own voice quite clearly, and is also distinctly aware of his own body.
Again he calls out in anguish, but nobody pays any attention to him! Weeping, they gaze upon the lifeless body, which he recognizes as his own yet suddenly regards as something strange that is no longer part of him, for he now stands beside it in a body free from all the pain he had suffered up till then!
Now he lovingly calls the name of his wife who is kneeling beside the death-bed, but her weeping does not cease and there is no word or movement to show that she has heard him. In desperation he walks up to her and shakes her shoulder vigorously. She does not notice it. He does not know that he is only touching and shaking the ethereal body of his wife, not the physical one, and that the woman, who like him never gave a thought to the existence of anything beyond the physical body, therefore cannot feel his touch upon her ethereal body.
An unspeakable feeling of dread makes him shudder! A feeling of being utterly forsaken makes him so weak that he sinks to the floor and loses consciousness!
The sound of a voice he used to know gradually awakens him again. He sees the body he used on earth surrounded by flowers. He would like to fly away, but he finds it impossible to sever himself from this cold, lifeless body. He distinctly feels he is still connected to it. Again he hears the voice which awoke him from his slumber. It is his friend speaking to another person. They have each brought a wreath and are talking together while laying them down. No one else is in the room.
His friend! He wishes to attract his attention, also that of the other man; they were often welcome guests together in his home. He must tell them that strange as it may seem he is still alive, that he can still hear what they are saying! He calls out! But his friend calmly turns to his companion and goes on talking. But what he says gives him a shock! Is that his friend? Is that the way he talks about him now?
Petrified, he listens to the words of these people with whom he had so often drunk and laughed, and who only flattered him while sitting at his table enjoying the hospitality of his home!
They left and others came. How clearly he could now see through people! So many whom he had highly valued now filled him with disgust and anger, and several whom he had always disregarded he would like to shake hands with gratefully. But they neither heard nor sensed him, although he shrieked and raved at them to prove he was still alive!
In a great procession the body was carried to the grave. He sat astride the coffin! Embittered and desperate, he could now but laugh and laugh! But his laughter quickly gave way to deepest despondency, and a great feeling of desolation assailed him. He became tired and fell asleep.
When he awoke darkness surrounded him. How long he had been asleep he could not tell, but he felt that he could no longer be connected to his physical body, for he was free! But free in a strangely oppressive darkness!
He called out, but no sound came. He could not hear his own voice. He sank back groaning, and in so doing struck his head hard against a sharp stone. When after a long time he awoke once more there was still the same darkness, the same sinister silence. He wanted to jump up, but his limbs were heavy and refused to do their work. With all the strength born of fearful desperation he struggled to his feet, staggering and groping his way to and fro. He often fell down and injured himself, and bumped against corners and edges to right and left, but he was allowed no respite – for a strong urge drove him to grope onwards unceasingly and to seek. To seek! But what? His thinking was confused, tired and without hope. He was seeking something that he could not comprehend. He was seeking!
It drove him onward, ever onward, until he again sank down, only to rise once more and resume his wanderings. Years passed in this way, decades, till finally tears welled up in his eyes and sobs shook his breast and ... a thought arose in him, a petition, the outcry of a tired soul yearning for an end to this condition of dark hopelessness!
This outcry of utter despair and hopeless suffering, however, gave birth to the first thought of longing to escape from this condition. He tried to understand what had brought him to this terrible plight, and what had so cruelly forced him to wander in darkness. Around him he could feel nothing but stark rocks! Was this the earth, or perhaps after all the other world in which he had never been able to believe?
The other world! Then he must be physically dead and yet alive, if he could call this condition being alive! He found thinking the greatest difficulty. And so he groped onwards in his seeking. Again years passed. Oh, for a way out of this darkness! The wish grew into a powerful urge, which gave way to longing. Longing, however, is the purer intuition born out of the coarse urge, and out of this longing very timidly a prayer arose.
Finally this prayer of longing burst forth from him like a spring, and a feeling of soothing, comforting peace, humility and submission, entered his soul. When he arose to continue his wanderings he experienced a warm glow coursing through his body, for now twilight surrounded him and he could suddenly see!
Far away in the distance he recognized a light, like a torch that greeted him. Jubilantly he stretched forth his arms towards it, and filled with deep happiness he again sank down, his heart overflowing with gratitude, and gave thanks to Him Who had granted him this light! With renewed strength he then strode towards the light. It came no nearer to him, but after his experiences he still hoped to reach it even if it should take centuries. What had now happened to him might happen once again, and thus finally lead him out of this stony desert into a warmer and lighter region, if he humbly prayed for it!
“My God, help me in this!” broke forth from his hope-filled breast. And, what joy, he could again hear his own voice! Even though at first quite weak, still he could hear it! His happiness at this gave him new strength, and full of hope he again went forward.
Such is the story of the initial experiences of a soul in the Ethereal World! This soul could not be called bad, on earth he had even been considered very good. He had been the head of a large industrial establishment, always busy and meticulously concerned to comply with the mundane laws.
Let me add an explanation to this case! The man who in his life on earth refuses to acknowledge that there is also life after death, and that sooner or later he will be forced to render account for all that he has done and all that he has left undone, is blind and deaf when he one day has to pass over into the Ethereal World. Only during the days and weeks while he still remains connected with his discarded physical body will he be able partially to observe what goes on around him.
However, once he is free from his disintegrating physical body this possibility is lost to him! He no longer sees or hears anything. That, however, is not punishment, but quite natural, because he did not want to see or hear anything of the Ethereal World. His own will, which can quickly form ethereal matter corresponding to it, prevents his ethereal body from seeing as well as hearing until gradually a change takes place in his soul. Whether this takes years or decades, perhaps even centuries, is the concern of each individual. He can exercise his free will untrammelled. Help will only come to him when he himself longs for it. Not before! It will never be forced upon him!
The light which this soul greeted with such great joy when it started to see again was always there, but previously the soul was unable to see it. This light is also clearer and stronger than it appears at first sight to the hitherto blind soul. How the soul sees it, whether strong or weak, depends entirely on the condition of the soul itself. The light does not come closer of its own accord, but it is there! The soul can enjoy it at any time, if it humbly and earnestly wishes to do so.
However, what I am explaining here applies only to this particular kind of human soul. It does not necessarily apply to others. In the region of darkness and its planes there is no light. There it is impossible for him who advances inwardly to be able suddenly to see the light, for he must first be led out of the surroundings which hold him.
The condition of the soul depicted here may surely be called miserable, because it is filled with a great fear and is void of all hope, but it did not wish it otherwise. It now receives only what it forced upon itself. It had refused to believe in a conscious life after physical death. But the soul cannot abolish this continuation of life for itself, because it has no jurisdiction over it. It only builds for itself a barren ethereal plane, paralyzing the senses of the ethereal body, so that it can neither see nor hear ethereally until ... the soul itself finally changes its attitude.
These are the souls which can be found by the million on earth today. Apart from the fact that they refuse all knowledge about God and eternity, they can still be called decent. The fate of the evil-minded is naturally much worse, but we shall not speak about them here, only about the so-called respectable people.
When it is said that God will stretch forth His Hand to help, this is done in the Word which He sends out to mankind, showing them how they can redeem themselves from the guilt in which they have become entangled. From the very beginning He has shown His Mercy in all the great possibilities placed freely at the disposal of human spirits in Creation. This is so overwhelming that the man of today cannot even conceive it because he never concerned himself with it seriously enough! Wherever he did, however, it was only as a pastime or for the purpose of vain self-aggrandizement!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The book In the Light of Truth: The Grail Message is a translation after the original German text, “Im Lichte der Wahrheit – Gralsbotschaft”. In some cases the word-forms of the translation can only render the meaning and contents of the original approximately. Nevertheless, the reader will come to a good understanding of the text, if he strives to absorb its meaning inwardly.
PERPLEXED AND LONELY, a soul stands in the chamber of death! Perplexed because the human being lying on the death-bed refused while on earth to believe in the continuity of life after the death of the physical body! He had therefore never seriously considered the matter and ridiculed all who spoke of it.
Confused, he looks around! He sees himself lying on his death-bed, sees people he knows standing about it weeping, hears the words they speak, and senses their grief as they lament his passing. He would like to laugh and call out that he is still alive! He does so, but is surprised to observe that they do not hear him. He calls again and again, louder and ever louder. The people do not hear it, but go on lamenting. Fear begins to arise within him, for he himself hears his own voice quite clearly, and is also distinctly aware of his own body.
Again he calls out in anguish, but nobody pays any attention to him! Weeping, they gaze upon the lifeless body, which he recognizes as his own yet suddenly regards as something strange that is no longer part of him, for he now stands beside it in a body free from all the pain he had suffered up till then!
Now he lovingly calls the name of his wife who is kneeling beside the death-bed, but her weeping does not cease and there is no word or movement to show that she has heard him. In desperation he walks up to her and shakes her shoulder vigorously. She does not notice it. He does not know that he is only touching and shaking the ethereal body of his wife, not the physical one, and that the woman, who like him never gave a thought to the existence of anything beyond the physical body, therefore cannot feel his touch upon her ethereal body.
An unspeakable feeling of dread makes him shudder! A feeling of being utterly forsaken makes him so weak that he sinks to the floor and loses consciousness!
The sound of a voice he used to know gradually awakens him again. He sees the body he used on earth surrounded by flowers. He would like to fly away, but he finds it impossible to sever himself from this cold, lifeless body. He distinctly feels he is still connected to it. Again he hears the voice which awoke him from his slumber. It is his friend speaking to another person. They have each brought a wreath and are talking together while laying them down. No one else is in the room.
His friend! He wishes to attract his attention, also that of the other man; they were often welcome guests together in his home. He must tell them that strange as it may seem he is still alive, that he can still hear what they are saying! He calls out! But his friend calmly turns to his companion and goes on talking. But what he says gives him a shock! Is that his friend? Is that the way he talks about him now?
Petrified, he listens to the words of these people with whom he had so often drunk and laughed, and who only flattered him while sitting at his table enjoying the hospitality of his home!
They left and others came. How clearly he could now see through people! So many whom he had highly valued now filled him with disgust and anger, and several whom he had always disregarded he would like to shake hands with gratefully. But they neither heard nor sensed him, although he shrieked and raved at them to prove he was still alive!
In a great procession the body was carried to the grave. He sat astride the coffin! Embittered and desperate, he could now but laugh and laugh! But his laughter quickly gave way to deepest despondency, and a great feeling of desolation assailed him. He became tired and fell asleep.
When he awoke darkness surrounded him. How long he had been asleep he could not tell, but he felt that he could no longer be connected to his physical body, for he was free! But free in a strangely oppressive darkness!
He called out, but no sound came. He could not hear his own voice. He sank back groaning, and in so doing struck his head hard against a sharp stone. When after a long time he awoke once more there was still the same darkness, the same sinister silence. He wanted to jump up, but his limbs were heavy and refused to do their work. With all the strength born of fearful desperation he struggled to his feet, staggering and groping his way to and fro. He often fell down and injured himself, and bumped against corners and edges to right and left, but he was allowed no respite – for a strong urge drove him to grope onwards unceasingly and to seek. To seek! But what? His thinking was confused, tired and without hope. He was seeking something that he could not comprehend. He was seeking!
It drove him onward, ever onward, until he again sank down, only to rise once more and resume his wanderings. Years passed in this way, decades, till finally tears welled up in his eyes and sobs shook his breast and ... a thought arose in him, a petition, the outcry of a tired soul yearning for an end to this condition of dark hopelessness!
This outcry of utter despair and hopeless suffering, however, gave birth to the first thought of longing to escape from this condition. He tried to understand what had brought him to this terrible plight, and what had so cruelly forced him to wander in darkness. Around him he could feel nothing but stark rocks! Was this the earth, or perhaps after all the other world in which he had never been able to believe?
The other world! Then he must be physically dead and yet alive, if he could call this condition being alive! He found thinking the greatest difficulty. And so he groped onwards in his seeking. Again years passed. Oh, for a way out of this darkness! The wish grew into a powerful urge, which gave way to longing. Longing, however, is the purer intuition born out of the coarse urge, and out of this longing very timidly a prayer arose.
Finally this prayer of longing burst forth from him like a spring, and a feeling of soothing, comforting peace, humility and submission, entered his soul. When he arose to continue his wanderings he experienced a warm glow coursing through his body, for now twilight surrounded him and he could suddenly see!
Far away in the distance he recognized a light, like a torch that greeted him. Jubilantly he stretched forth his arms towards it, and filled with deep happiness he again sank down, his heart overflowing with gratitude, and gave thanks to Him Who had granted him this light! With renewed strength he then strode towards the light. It came no nearer to him, but after his experiences he still hoped to reach it even if it should take centuries. What had now happened to him might happen once again, and thus finally lead him out of this stony desert into a warmer and lighter region, if he humbly prayed for it!
“My God, help me in this!” broke forth from his hope-filled breast. And, what joy, he could again hear his own voice! Even though at first quite weak, still he could hear it! His happiness at this gave him new strength, and full of hope he again went forward.
Such is the story of the initial experiences of a soul in the Ethereal World! This soul could not be called bad, on earth he had even been considered very good. He had been the head of a large industrial establishment, always busy and meticulously concerned to comply with the mundane laws.
Let me add an explanation to this case! The man who in his life on earth refuses to acknowledge that there is also life after death, and that sooner or later he will be forced to render account for all that he has done and all that he has left undone, is blind and deaf when he one day has to pass over into the Ethereal World. Only during the days and weeks while he still remains connected with his discarded physical body will he be able partially to observe what goes on around him.
However, once he is free from his disintegrating physical body this possibility is lost to him! He no longer sees or hears anything. That, however, is not punishment, but quite natural, because he did not want to see or hear anything of the Ethereal World. His own will, which can quickly form ethereal matter corresponding to it, prevents his ethereal body from seeing as well as hearing until gradually a change takes place in his soul. Whether this takes years or decades, perhaps even centuries, is the concern of each individual. He can exercise his free will untrammelled. Help will only come to him when he himself longs for it. Not before! It will never be forced upon him!
The light which this soul greeted with such great joy when it started to see again was always there, but previously the soul was unable to see it. This light is also clearer and stronger than it appears at first sight to the hitherto blind soul. How the soul sees it, whether strong or weak, depends entirely on the condition of the soul itself. The light does not come closer of its own accord, but it is there! The soul can enjoy it at any time, if it humbly and earnestly wishes to do so.
However, what I am explaining here applies only to this particular kind of human soul. It does not necessarily apply to others. In the region of darkness and its planes there is no light. There it is impossible for him who advances inwardly to be able suddenly to see the light, for he must first be led out of the surroundings which hold him.
The condition of the soul depicted here may surely be called miserable, because it is filled with a great fear and is void of all hope, but it did not wish it otherwise. It now receives only what it forced upon itself. It had refused to believe in a conscious life after physical death. But the soul cannot abolish this continuation of life for itself, because it has no jurisdiction over it. It only builds for itself a barren ethereal plane, paralyzing the senses of the ethereal body, so that it can neither see nor hear ethereally until ... the soul itself finally changes its attitude.
These are the souls which can be found by the million on earth today. Apart from the fact that they refuse all knowledge about God and eternity, they can still be called decent. The fate of the evil-minded is naturally much worse, but we shall not speak about them here, only about the so-called respectable people.
When it is said that God will stretch forth His Hand to help, this is done in the Word which He sends out to mankind, showing them how they can redeem themselves from the guilt in which they have become entangled. From the very beginning He has shown His Mercy in all the great possibilities placed freely at the disposal of human spirits in Creation. This is so overwhelming that the man of today cannot even conceive it because he never concerned himself with it seriously enough! Wherever he did, however, it was only as a pastime or for the purpose of vain self-aggrandizement!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The book In the Light of Truth: The Grail Message is a translation after the original German text, “Im Lichte der Wahrheit – Gralsbotschaft”. In some cases the word-forms of the translation can only render the meaning and contents of the original approximately. Nevertheless, the reader will come to a good understanding of the text, if he strives to absorb its meaning inwardly.
Isnin, 19 Disember 2011
True Story ( Midget Murder )
Jesse a teenage boy about the age of seventeen was going to sneak out of his house. He was doing this to see his girlfriend Anny who is a nineteen year old cop. As he was climbing outside his window he noticed the roof was covered with dew. But he continued on, but thanks to his stupidity h slipped and tumbled violently to the ground.
He didn’t scream or cry, he just laid there waiting for a little recovery. When he felt better he sat up and looked at the sky, then he felt a thrash of pain. It was coming from his arm; it was bleeding but not bad enough for him to give up for the night. As he got up, he caught sight of his mother walking through the house. Luckily for him she just went to the kitchen for something to drink.
Jesse snuck around each of the windows to his to avoid contact with his mother. She went back to bed without noticing the tiny pricks of hair that showed at the bottom of the window. He sighed in relief. He snuck past his house when he noticed something small out of the corner of his eye. Jesse looked to his left and he realized it was a midget. He smiled and walked over to him to pick on the little guy.
“How’s the weather down there?’’ Jesse smirked.
The little man looked up, and too Jesse’s horror the vertically challenged man’s face was, covered in scars, and his eyes were black and red. He pulled his hands out of his pockets and revealed his hands, he had very long nail that were covered in dry, crusty blood.
Horrified Jesse ran as fast as his legs could take him. Jesse jumped into a thorny bush for cover. There was no sight of the midget man anywhere. Just as Jesse was beginning to think he was safe the scary midget monster walked towards the bush that was right next to the one Jesse was in. the midget took out a knife slowly. He searched the area for Jesse but couldn’t catch sight of him, so he walked away. Jesse got up put of the bush and snuck past the little man’s shadow. The little guy didn’t see him but, he heard him.
Jesse ran nonstop until he saw the Yellow Stone Park sign. He gasped for breath and kept walking. He walked past beautiful flowers, amazing trees and finally he saw his girlfriend. She smiled when she saw him.
“Hey Jess! What took you so long?” she asked
“Long story” he replied
“We have all night” she said cheerfully
So he told her everything that happened that night, from coming out the window to falling, the little man…
“He tried to kill you?” she said getting up
“Umm… yea” he answered
The two heard something quivered in the bush beside them. They got up immediately and skidded a few feet away. In their relief it was just a squirrel. But the midget man tackled Jesse, but in his defense, Anny whipped out her gun and with a loud bang she shot the midget in the leg. He flew backwards and hit the ground.
He started to drag himself towards Anny. Before she could reload he slashed at her legs with his long nails. She fell down like a rock. He dragged himself violently towards her face and stared into her pale green eyes. Within seconds she got skinnier. Within moments she was dead.
When Jesse saw what happened he ran again, but even on the ground the little man was fast. The end!
Killing Game
The Killing Game is a scary activity for Halloween parties. This game is also known as Cutthroat Serial Killer.
To play The Killing Game, you need at least 5 people. It works better with as many people as possible.
Step 1: You have to select a serial killer. For games with 5 or more players, you should have one serial killer. For games of ten or more players, you should have two serial killers.
Take a deck of cards and pick out one card for each player in the game. One of the cards should be an Ace. Give each player a card. The person who gets the Ace is the serial killer. The rest of the people are villagers. Everyone should keep their card a secret and put it in their pockets.
The serial killer has to kill off as many villagers as they can without getting caught. The villagers have to figure out the identity of the serial killer and stop him before it’s too late.
Step 2: Turn off the lights and everyone has to spread out across the house. The serial killer has to murder villagers by sneaking up behind them and slitting their throats (actually sliding their hand across the victim’s throat).
When a villager is murdered, they have to drop to the floor on the spot. The serial killer can move the body to a hiding place if he wants. The serial killer has to make sure nobody sees him committing the murder and that he is not near the body when it is discovered.
Step 3: Everyone wanders around the house until one of the villagers finds the dead body. The villager who finds the freshly murdered corpse has to yell “Dead Body! Dead Body!”
The lights are turned on and everyone gathers around the dead body for a town meeting. The villager who found the dead body gets to be the Accuser. He or she can accuse one of the other villagers of being the serial killer. The person who is accused is the Suspect.
All of the villagers (except for the Accuser and the Suspect) must vote on whether they should kill the Suspect. If they vote Yes, then the Suspect is killed (the villagers mime killing the person).
They Suspect lies dead on the ground and one of the villagers searches through his pockets to find his card. If it was they were correct, the Suspect is carrying an ace and the Villagers have won the game. If they were wrong, the Suspect is out of play. The lights are turned off again and the game continues.
The villagers win when they identify and kill the serial killer. The serial killer wins when there is only one villager left alive.
Rules: The serial killer can only kill one villager per round.
People can only be killed when the lights are off.
Serial Killers cannot be the ones to discover a dead body.
“Every time I play this game, everybody gets totally freaked out, especially if the serial killers are good. It’s probably the best scary party game I’ve ever played. Don’t let anyone use a flashlight, as this lessens the scare factor.”
To play The Killing Game, you need at least 5 people. It works better with as many people as possible.
Step 1: You have to select a serial killer. For games with 5 or more players, you should have one serial killer. For games of ten or more players, you should have two serial killers.
Take a deck of cards and pick out one card for each player in the game. One of the cards should be an Ace. Give each player a card. The person who gets the Ace is the serial killer. The rest of the people are villagers. Everyone should keep their card a secret and put it in their pockets.
The serial killer has to kill off as many villagers as they can without getting caught. The villagers have to figure out the identity of the serial killer and stop him before it’s too late.
Step 2: Turn off the lights and everyone has to spread out across the house. The serial killer has to murder villagers by sneaking up behind them and slitting their throats (actually sliding their hand across the victim’s throat).
When a villager is murdered, they have to drop to the floor on the spot. The serial killer can move the body to a hiding place if he wants. The serial killer has to make sure nobody sees him committing the murder and that he is not near the body when it is discovered.
Step 3: Everyone wanders around the house until one of the villagers finds the dead body. The villager who finds the freshly murdered corpse has to yell “Dead Body! Dead Body!”
The lights are turned on and everyone gathers around the dead body for a town meeting. The villager who found the dead body gets to be the Accuser. He or she can accuse one of the other villagers of being the serial killer. The person who is accused is the Suspect.
All of the villagers (except for the Accuser and the Suspect) must vote on whether they should kill the Suspect. If they vote Yes, then the Suspect is killed (the villagers mime killing the person).
They Suspect lies dead on the ground and one of the villagers searches through his pockets to find his card. If it was they were correct, the Suspect is carrying an ace and the Villagers have won the game. If they were wrong, the Suspect is out of play. The lights are turned off again and the game continues.
The villagers win when they identify and kill the serial killer. The serial killer wins when there is only one villager left alive.
Rules: The serial killer can only kill one villager per round.
People can only be killed when the lights are off.
Serial Killers cannot be the ones to discover a dead body.
“Every time I play this game, everybody gets totally freaked out, especially if the serial killers are good. It’s probably the best scary party game I’ve ever played. Don’t let anyone use a flashlight, as this lessens the scare factor.”
Creepy Story
Keyhole is a creepy story about a man who stayed in a strange hotel and encountered something very odd indeed.
A man went to a hotel and walked up to the front desk to check in. The woman at the desk gave him his key and told him that on the way to his room, there was a door with no number that was locked and no one was allowed in there. Especially no one should look inside the room, under any circumstances. So he followed the instructions of the woman at the front desk, going straight to his room, and going to bed.
The next night his curiosity would not leave him alone about the room with no number on the door. He walked down the hall to the door and tried the handle. Sure enough it was locked. He bent down and looked through the wide keyhole. Cold air passed through it, chilling his eye. What he saw was a hotel bedroom, like his, and in the corner was a woman whose skin was completely white. She was leaning her head against the wall, facing away from the door. He stared in confusion for a while. He almost knocked on the door, out of curiosity, but decided not to.
He crept away from the door and walked back to his room. The next day, he returned to the door and looked through the keyhole. This time, all he saw was red. He couldn’t make anything out besides a distinct red color. Perhaps the inhabitants of the room knew he was spying the night before, and had blocked the keyhole with something red.
At this point he decided to consult the woman at the front desk for more information. She sighed and said, “Did you look through the keyhole?” The man told her that he had and she said, “Well, I might as well tell you the story. A long time ago, a man murdered his wife in that room, and her ghost haunts it. But these people were not ordinary. They were white all over, except for their eyes, which were red.”
Ahad, 18 Disember 2011
Nak Cite Pun Malas
Pada masa dahulu, ada sebuah kampung di mana semua rakyatnya amat rajin belaka tidak ada yang malas. Jadi pada suatu hari, rajanya membuat pengumuman hendak mencari seorang yang malas.
Semasa perhimpunan itu, adalah seorang lelaki mengaku, katanya, “Patik adalah yang paling malas.” Raja pun bertanya, “Apa tahap malas tuan hamba?” Lalu jawab lelaki tersebut, “Kalau patik hendak makan, ada orang yang suapkan patik.”
Tiba-tiba datang seorang lelaki lagi lalu berkata, “Patik lebih malas lagi daripada dia tuanku.” Tuanku pun bertanya kepadanya, “Sampai mana pulak tahap malas tuan hamba?” Maka jawabnya, “Kalau patik makanpun, sampai ada orang tolong kunyahkan.”
Maka raja pun terdiam seketika. Tanpa disangka² datang seorang budak lelaki kepadanya sambil berkata,
“Patik adalah yang paling malas tuanku.” Raja pun bertanya, “Bagaimana pula tahap kemalasan kamu si budak?” Budak itu pun menjawab, “Nak cite pun malas.”
Semasa perhimpunan itu, adalah seorang lelaki mengaku, katanya, “Patik adalah yang paling malas.” Raja pun bertanya, “Apa tahap malas tuan hamba?” Lalu jawab lelaki tersebut, “Kalau patik hendak makan, ada orang yang suapkan patik.”
Tiba-tiba datang seorang lelaki lagi lalu berkata, “Patik lebih malas lagi daripada dia tuanku.” Tuanku pun bertanya kepadanya, “Sampai mana pulak tahap malas tuan hamba?” Maka jawabnya, “Kalau patik makanpun, sampai ada orang tolong kunyahkan.”
Maka raja pun terdiam seketika. Tanpa disangka² datang seorang budak lelaki kepadanya sambil berkata,
“Patik adalah yang paling malas tuanku.” Raja pun bertanya, “Bagaimana pula tahap kemalasan kamu si budak?” Budak itu pun menjawab, “Nak cite pun malas.”
Badly Broken English
telah menyodok kereta tersebut. Pemandu tersebut pun meminta maaf dari boss nya… .:
Pemandu: Sorry Sir, I brake brake, do not eat. After I check the wheel no flower again. (maaf Tuan, saya brek-brek, tak makan, selepas saya cek tayarnya tak ada bunganya lagi)
Orang putih tu pun mahu keluar dan ikut sama marahkan pemandu kereta dihadapan. Tapi pemandu tersebut menghalangnya… Kata pemandu tersebut:
Pemandu: Don’t enter mix, Sir! The bring that car if not wrong I, is the children fruit from manager moneys, he stupid doesn’t play! Let he taste.
(Jangan masuk campur, Tuan! Yang bawa kereta itu kalo tak salah saya, anak buah dari pengurus kewangan, dia memang bodoh bukan main… Biar dia rasa)
Besoknya si pemandu tak masuk kerja, lusanya, bila dia masuk kerja, si boss orang putihnya bertanya:
Boss : Why didn’t you come to work?
Pemandu : I am sorry boss, my body is not delicious, my body taste like enter the wind. (maaf boss, badan saya tidak sedap, badan saya rasanya macam masuk angin)
Isnin, 12 Disember 2011
Family trip to Genting Higlands
- My Lil Sister and My Father
Ahad, 11 Disember 2011
Christmas
Sahabat Sejati
Sebenarnya saya tidak pernah percaya bahawa sahabat sejati itu ada , tetapi sekarang saya sedar .
Sahabat sejati lebih setia daripada teman. Sahabat, selemah-lemah manusia ialah orang yang tidak boleh mencari sahabat dan orang yang lemah itu ialah orang yang mensia-siakan sahabat yang telah dicari
- Smith Ma'ck
Sahabat sejati lebih setia daripada teman. Sahabat, selemah-lemah manusia ialah orang yang tidak boleh mencari sahabat dan orang yang lemah itu ialah orang yang mensia-siakan sahabat yang telah dicari
- Smith Ma'ck
Khamis, 10 November 2011
Life is a brief candle
Nak Imbas Kembali waktu form 1 - 2009 -
Bila kt skolah x beri tumpuan smasa cigu mengajar , skang la kta imbas balik :D
LIFE IS A BRIEF CANDLE ----
to-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
to the last syllable of recorded time,
and all our yesterdays have lighted fools,
the way to dusty death. Out-out brief candle !
life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
that struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
and then is heared no more; it is a tale
told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
signifying nothing
- William Shakespear :)
Bila kt skolah x beri tumpuan smasa cigu mengajar , skang la kta imbas balik :D
LIFE IS A BRIEF CANDLE ----
to-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
to the last syllable of recorded time,
and all our yesterdays have lighted fools,
the way to dusty death. Out-out brief candle !
life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
that struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
and then is heared no more; it is a tale
told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
signifying nothing
- William Shakespear :)
Malam Pertama, Kedua dan Ketiga :D hahahaa
Dalam keheningan malam penuh syahdu, Ramli masuk ke kamar kerana mengantuk. Dilihat isterinya sudah berselimut dari hujung rambut ke hujung kaki. Malu agaknya. Maklumlah malam pertama…” bisik hati Ramli. Dimatikanya lampu dan ia pun berbaring di katil. Dicelah2 saura kodok menyeru pasangannya, terdengar suara isteri berbisik, penuh romantis, “Buah papaya dah masak ranum, bila tupai nak datang merasa ?” “Dah, apa citer ni ?” tanya Ramli dlm hati. Separuh malam dia terbaring berfikir. “Oh, agaknya isteri ku teringat kampung halaman.. sian.. sampai mengigau? Takpelah, biarlah dia tidur” bisik hatinya penuh understanding.
Mlm ke 2 adegan yg sama cuma dialognya agak berbeza. Bisik isteri “Sawah bendang dah siap dibajak, bila pak tani nak turun menyemai?” “kesiannya bini aku.. masih ngigau lagi.. aku mesti cari penawar !” Ramli bertekad. Esok harinya, Ramli bercerita pada ayah yg kebetulan datang untuk bertanya khabar `pengantin baru’ “Lah..” keluh ayah Ramli, “aku antar belajar sampai Universiti, benda cam ni pun kau tak paham?” Ayahnya pun mula bercerita perihal adam & hawa, laila & majnun, romeo & juliet… (yg relevan untuk pegantin baru je!) Sepatah cakap orang putih “about the birds & the bees”. “oh. cam tu.” sengih ramli, “baru saya paham. Taulah apa nak buat malam ni!”
Malam yg sangat ditunggu2 ramli pun tiba… adegan sama dikamar tidur. cuma kali ini isterinya membisu seribu bahasa. “lah.. nape pulak senyap. takkan dia give up” tertanya2 si Ramli. Setelah sekian lama tanpa suara dari isteri, Ramli pun berkata, “Dah lapar betul rasanya perut, boleh tupai datang merasa?” Malam dingin semakin sunyi.. tak jawab pun… “Kain pelikat dak disinsing rapi, boleh pak tani turun menyemai ?” pun..masih takde jawaban… Ramli mencuba lagi. “Juruterbang dah siap sedia… boleh pesawat turun mendarat ?” Sayu sekali jawaban si isteri dari bawah selimut, “Maaf tuan… Landasannya baru saje banjir…!”
Mlm ke 2 adegan yg sama cuma dialognya agak berbeza. Bisik isteri “Sawah bendang dah siap dibajak, bila pak tani nak turun menyemai?” “kesiannya bini aku.. masih ngigau lagi.. aku mesti cari penawar !” Ramli bertekad. Esok harinya, Ramli bercerita pada ayah yg kebetulan datang untuk bertanya khabar `pengantin baru’ “Lah..” keluh ayah Ramli, “aku antar belajar sampai Universiti, benda cam ni pun kau tak paham?” Ayahnya pun mula bercerita perihal adam & hawa, laila & majnun, romeo & juliet… (yg relevan untuk pegantin baru je!) Sepatah cakap orang putih “about the birds & the bees”. “oh. cam tu.” sengih ramli, “baru saya paham. Taulah apa nak buat malam ni!”
Malam yg sangat ditunggu2 ramli pun tiba… adegan sama dikamar tidur. cuma kali ini isterinya membisu seribu bahasa. “lah.. nape pulak senyap. takkan dia give up” tertanya2 si Ramli. Setelah sekian lama tanpa suara dari isteri, Ramli pun berkata, “Dah lapar betul rasanya perut, boleh tupai datang merasa?” Malam dingin semakin sunyi.. tak jawab pun… “Kain pelikat dak disinsing rapi, boleh pak tani turun menyemai ?” pun..masih takde jawaban… Ramli mencuba lagi. “Juruterbang dah siap sedia… boleh pesawat turun mendarat ?” Sayu sekali jawaban si isteri dari bawah selimut, “Maaf tuan… Landasannya baru saje banjir…!”
Mentol Lampu .................
Pada suatu pagi, seorang pakar jiwa terlihat salah seorang pesakitnya sibuk mengerjakan sesuatu.
Bila dihampiri ternyata pesakit yang sedang khusyuk duduk dilantai,sedang menggergaji sekeping papan dengan tangan kosongnya.
Seorang lagi sedang bergayut dari atas siling.
Doktor merapati pesakitnya dan bertanya apa yg dibuatnya duduk dilantai.
“Apa doktor tak nampak ke? Kan saya sedang gergaji papan ni untuk dibelah dua?” jawab pesakit dengan nada marah.
“Apa pulak sidia ni buat bergayut kat siling ?” tanya doktor sambil menuding jari ke pesakit yg lagi satu.
“Oh.. Dia kawan baik saya, tapi dia tu tak betul sikit..
Dia ingat dia tu mentol lampu!” jawab pesakit tadi.
“Kalau kawan baik awak, kenapa tak nasihatkan dia suruh turun. Supaya tak cedera kalau jatuh nanti ?” soal doktor lagi.
“Abis tu, macam mana saya nak habiskan kerja saya dalam gelap?”
Bila dihampiri ternyata pesakit yang sedang khusyuk duduk dilantai,sedang menggergaji sekeping papan dengan tangan kosongnya.
Seorang lagi sedang bergayut dari atas siling.
Doktor merapati pesakitnya dan bertanya apa yg dibuatnya duduk dilantai.
“Apa doktor tak nampak ke? Kan saya sedang gergaji papan ni untuk dibelah dua?” jawab pesakit dengan nada marah.
“Apa pulak sidia ni buat bergayut kat siling ?” tanya doktor sambil menuding jari ke pesakit yg lagi satu.
“Oh.. Dia kawan baik saya, tapi dia tu tak betul sikit..
Dia ingat dia tu mentol lampu!” jawab pesakit tadi.
“Kalau kawan baik awak, kenapa tak nasihatkan dia suruh turun. Supaya tak cedera kalau jatuh nanti ?” soal doktor lagi.
“Abis tu, macam mana saya nak habiskan kerja saya dalam gelap?”
Hantu Bukit Putus Negeri Sembilan
Kisah gempar dan menyeramkan ini terjadi kepada seorang lelaki yang bekerja di Seremban. Pada hari tersebut (hari khamis petang jumaat) beliau terpaksa balik ke Kuala Pilah kerana keluarganya mengadakan kenduri arwah. Selesai kenduri lebih kurang pukul 11.00 malam, dia pun terpaksa berangkat balik ke Seremban sendirian walaupun agak lewat kerana keesokkannya dia bekerja.
Sampai di Bukit Putus, jalan yang bengkang-bengkok tu, dia pun ternampak seorang perempuan berbaju putih sedang menahan keretanya. Hatinya tergerak pula ingin menolong. Lantas dia pun berhentikan keretanya dan bertanya “Apa halnya cik adik malam-malam buta kat sini?”,”Abang.. tolong lah saya. Kereta saya rosak ni… Puas dah saya tahan kereta lain. Tapi semuanya tak nak berhenti. Boleh tak tumpangkan saya sampai ke Seremban aje. Saya boleh bayar berapa abang nak??”. Entah macam mana dia pun tergerak hati nak menolong perempuan berbaju putih yang cantik tu…
” Oklah. Saya pun nak ke seremban jugak”, terkeluar dari mulutnya… Tapi hatinya masih lagi was-was… Diapun membuka pintu dan mempelawa perempuan itu masuk. Perempuan tu bukannya nak duduk kat belakang, terus aje duduk di depan sebelahnya. Nak juga ditegur tapi terlalu pantas perempuan tu tutup pintu dan terus lock pintu. Berdegup juga hati lelaki tu. Dia cuba tenangkan dirinya… seolah-olah takde apa yang berlaku. Dia masih lagi membisu kerana menyesal kenapalah dia dengan mudah aje membenarkan seorang perempuan menumpang keretanya di tengah malam buta ni… seorang diri pulak tu…
Tapi yang peliknya, hatinya macam ditarik-tarik supaya menolong perempuan tu… Padahal, dia tu memanglah penakut dengan perempuan! Masing-masing hanya diam membisu beberapa ketika… Tiba-tiba… dia mula merasa seram & meremang bulu roma bila perempuan tu berbau wangi. Dia pun mulalah membaca ayat-ayat suci yang terlintas di kepalanya. Peluh mula membasahi dahinya. Dia makin tak senang duduk .Perempuan tu kelihatan agak bersinar bila kenderaan yang bertembung menyuluh kearah keretanya. Dia pun memberanikan diri dengan menjeling ke arah perempuan tu bila sampai ke selekoh yang tajam. Perempuan tu juga memandang kat dia sambil tersenyum. Menampakkan giginya yang putih… ditambah lagi dengan baju yang dipakainya…
Dia pun beranikan diri dan bertanya…
”kenapa cik adik ni pakai baju putih malam-malam ni??
”ni memang pakaian rasmi saya setiap malam jumaat… ”
” Saya ada kelas yasin… ” jawab perempuan tu
”Tapi.. putihnya lain macam aje… tak pernah pulak saya tengoknya ”
tanya lelaki tu lagi.
”Apa yang lain nya… sama aje. Eh, betul ke tak pernah tengok??”
” Eyea… lain macam aje. seram pulak saya dibuatnya… ”
” Ehh takkan sampai seram… ”
“Pakai aje le Breeze colour baru!!!”
Lelaki tu bengang dan terus aje memecut keretanya. Sekianlah aje… ..
Sampai di Bukit Putus, jalan yang bengkang-bengkok tu, dia pun ternampak seorang perempuan berbaju putih sedang menahan keretanya. Hatinya tergerak pula ingin menolong. Lantas dia pun berhentikan keretanya dan bertanya “Apa halnya cik adik malam-malam buta kat sini?”,”Abang.. tolong lah saya. Kereta saya rosak ni… Puas dah saya tahan kereta lain. Tapi semuanya tak nak berhenti. Boleh tak tumpangkan saya sampai ke Seremban aje. Saya boleh bayar berapa abang nak??”. Entah macam mana dia pun tergerak hati nak menolong perempuan berbaju putih yang cantik tu…
” Oklah. Saya pun nak ke seremban jugak”, terkeluar dari mulutnya… Tapi hatinya masih lagi was-was… Diapun membuka pintu dan mempelawa perempuan itu masuk. Perempuan tu bukannya nak duduk kat belakang, terus aje duduk di depan sebelahnya. Nak juga ditegur tapi terlalu pantas perempuan tu tutup pintu dan terus lock pintu. Berdegup juga hati lelaki tu. Dia cuba tenangkan dirinya… seolah-olah takde apa yang berlaku. Dia masih lagi membisu kerana menyesal kenapalah dia dengan mudah aje membenarkan seorang perempuan menumpang keretanya di tengah malam buta ni… seorang diri pulak tu…
Tapi yang peliknya, hatinya macam ditarik-tarik supaya menolong perempuan tu… Padahal, dia tu memanglah penakut dengan perempuan! Masing-masing hanya diam membisu beberapa ketika… Tiba-tiba… dia mula merasa seram & meremang bulu roma bila perempuan tu berbau wangi. Dia pun mulalah membaca ayat-ayat suci yang terlintas di kepalanya. Peluh mula membasahi dahinya. Dia makin tak senang duduk .Perempuan tu kelihatan agak bersinar bila kenderaan yang bertembung menyuluh kearah keretanya. Dia pun memberanikan diri dengan menjeling ke arah perempuan tu bila sampai ke selekoh yang tajam. Perempuan tu juga memandang kat dia sambil tersenyum. Menampakkan giginya yang putih… ditambah lagi dengan baju yang dipakainya…
Dia pun beranikan diri dan bertanya…
”kenapa cik adik ni pakai baju putih malam-malam ni??
”ni memang pakaian rasmi saya setiap malam jumaat… ”
” Saya ada kelas yasin… ” jawab perempuan tu
”Tapi.. putihnya lain macam aje… tak pernah pulak saya tengoknya ”
tanya lelaki tu lagi.
”Apa yang lain nya… sama aje. Eh, betul ke tak pernah tengok??”
” Eyea… lain macam aje. seram pulak saya dibuatnya… ”
” Ehh takkan sampai seram… ”
“Pakai aje le Breeze colour baru!!!”
Lelaki tu bengang dan terus aje memecut keretanya. Sekianlah aje… ..
Kisah Ahli Silap Mata dan Burung ;}
Seorang ahli silap mata mempertunjukkan kebolehannya di sebuah kapal mewah di lautan Caribbean. Penontonnya selalu berganti setiap minggu tetapi dia tetap mengulang-ulangi trik yang sama.
Masalahnya adalah: Seekor burung kakak tua yang pandai berkata-kata milik kapten kapal selalu melihat pertunjukannya setiap minggu dan menjadi tahu penipuan yang dilakukan oleh ahli silap mata .
Suatu malam ketika ahli silap mata membuat pertunjukan, si burung berteriak di tengah-tengah pentas.
“Lihat.. !! Itu bukan topi yg sama !!”
“Dia menyembunyikan bunga-bunga itu di bawah meja !!”
“Hey… semua daun terupnya,daun A !! “
Ahli silap mata amat bengang tapi tidak dapat berbuat apa-apa.
Suatu hari kapal tersebut mengalami kecelakaan dan tenggelam. Si ahli silap mata terapung2 di tengah lautan di atas sebuah papan bersama si burung kakak tua. Mereka saling pandang memandang dgn penuh kebencian tapi tidak mengucapkan satu patah kata pun.Ini berlangsung berhari-hari.Si ahli silap mata pun hairan kenapa si burung tak mahu terbang menyelamatkan diri.Setelah satu minggu, tiba-tiba si burung berkata “OK… saya menyerah!! Di mana kamu sembunyikan kapalnya ??”
Masalahnya adalah: Seekor burung kakak tua yang pandai berkata-kata milik kapten kapal selalu melihat pertunjukannya setiap minggu dan menjadi tahu penipuan yang dilakukan oleh ahli silap mata .
Suatu malam ketika ahli silap mata membuat pertunjukan, si burung berteriak di tengah-tengah pentas.
“Lihat.. !! Itu bukan topi yg sama !!”
“Dia menyembunyikan bunga-bunga itu di bawah meja !!”
“Hey… semua daun terupnya,daun A !! “
Ahli silap mata amat bengang tapi tidak dapat berbuat apa-apa.
Suatu hari kapal tersebut mengalami kecelakaan dan tenggelam. Si ahli silap mata terapung2 di tengah lautan di atas sebuah papan bersama si burung kakak tua. Mereka saling pandang memandang dgn penuh kebencian tapi tidak mengucapkan satu patah kata pun.Ini berlangsung berhari-hari.Si ahli silap mata pun hairan kenapa si burung tak mahu terbang menyelamatkan diri.Setelah satu minggu, tiba-tiba si burung berkata “OK… saya menyerah!! Di mana kamu sembunyikan kapalnya ??”
Sewa Hotel Mahal !!!!
Seorang pelancong singgah di sebuah hotel pada tengah malam. Pelancong itu meminta pekerja hotel memberikannya sebuah bilik katil single.
Tiba-tiba pelancong itu terlihat seorang gadis cantik dan seksi di lobi hotel. Dia meminta diri dari pekerja hotel untuk bertemu gadis tersebut. Setelah beberapa minit, pelancong itu datang bersama gadis cantik dan seksi dalam dakapannya.
“Saya sungguh gembira bertemu isteri saya di sini,” katanya kepada pekerja hotel. “Saya nak bilik katil queen size”.
Keesokannya, pelancong tersebut pergi ke kuanter untuk membayar sewa hotelnya. Dia sunnguh terkejut kerana sewa hotel itu sebanyak RM3000. Dengan perasaan marah dia berteriak. “Baru 1 malam aku di sini, kenapa terlalu mahal?”.
“Betul, tuan baru 1 malam, tetapi isteri tuan sudah 7 malam menyewa di sini”, kata pekerja hotel kepada pelancong. Dengan perasaan malu, pelancong itu membayar menggunakan kad kreditnya.
Tiba-tiba pelancong itu terlihat seorang gadis cantik dan seksi di lobi hotel. Dia meminta diri dari pekerja hotel untuk bertemu gadis tersebut. Setelah beberapa minit, pelancong itu datang bersama gadis cantik dan seksi dalam dakapannya.
“Saya sungguh gembira bertemu isteri saya di sini,” katanya kepada pekerja hotel. “Saya nak bilik katil queen size”.
Keesokannya, pelancong tersebut pergi ke kuanter untuk membayar sewa hotelnya. Dia sunnguh terkejut kerana sewa hotel itu sebanyak RM3000. Dengan perasaan marah dia berteriak. “Baru 1 malam aku di sini, kenapa terlalu mahal?”.
“Betul, tuan baru 1 malam, tetapi isteri tuan sudah 7 malam menyewa di sini”, kata pekerja hotel kepada pelancong. Dengan perasaan malu, pelancong itu membayar menggunakan kad kreditnya.
Pengemis Gila ;}
Pengemis : Pak Cik! Kasihanilah saya, saya orang bisu.
Bapak : La? Orang bisu tak kan bleh cakap lak?
Pengemis : Eh, salah! Orang tuli, Pak Cik!
Bapak : Tak kan bleh mendengar?
Pengemis : Eh, bukan! Orang buta, Pak Cik!
Bapak : (Sambil mengeluarkan wang receh)Tidak ada duit!!
Pengemis : Itu ada tiga ratus !
Bapak : Katanya buta, tak kan boleh melihat?
Pengemis : Salah lagi. Orang gila, Pak Cik!!
--__--""
Bapak : La? Orang bisu tak kan bleh cakap lak?
Pengemis : Eh, salah! Orang tuli, Pak Cik!
Bapak : Tak kan bleh mendengar?
Pengemis : Eh, bukan! Orang buta, Pak Cik!
Bapak : (Sambil mengeluarkan wang receh)Tidak ada duit!!
Pengemis : Itu ada tiga ratus !
Bapak : Katanya buta, tak kan boleh melihat?
Pengemis : Salah lagi. Orang gila, Pak Cik!!
--__--""
Rabu, 9 November 2011
Siapa paling bodoh :D
Suatu hari dua orang kaya sedang duduk-duduk di cafe, sambil berborak kosong tentang orang gaji masing-masing
Org kaya I: “Kau nak tau tak orang gaji aku tu bodoh nak mampus. Kalau tak caye lihat ni…”
Terus dia panggil si Adi orang gajinya.
“Adi, ini RM10 , pergi ke kedai, dan belikan saya kereta ferrari.” Adi pun menjawab dengan sopan, “Yes Sir !! Right Away !!”
Terus dia bergegas kekedai yang ade jual kereta. Orang kaya I itu terus mengatakan pada kawannye tu, “tengok kan betul tu?. dia bodoh nak mampus”
Org Kaya II: “Haha, itu tak de ape-ape lagi… saya punya orang gaji lagi bengap”.
Terus si org kaya II memanggil Ali, “Ali, pergi ke rumah saya, lihat sama ada saya ada di rumah atau tidak”
Ali: “Yes Sir !! Right Away !!” ali pun bergegas ke rumah tuannya.
Orang kaya II memandang temanye sambil ketawa Tidak berapa lama kemudian kedua-dua orang gaji ini bertemu ditengah jalan.
Adi: “Ehh you know, my boss is soooo stupid lah. Dia bagi aku $10 dollar dan suruh pergi beli ferrari, manalah boleh kan ari ni ari minggu tentulah kedai tutup.. “
Ali: “My boss pun stupid dum dum gak. Ada ke dia buleh suh aku balik umah tengok dia ada kat umah ke tidak..”
----------------------------------> tobe continued :D
Ketawa :D
Nak kongsi lawak yang x tentu nie -----------
Di dalam hutan , tinggal seekor monyet dan Tarzan......
Mereka pergi mandi ke sungai yang tidak jauh dari tempt
tinggal mereka ........ TIBA-TIBA......
Si monyet ketawa terbahk2 ...
Si Monyet: hahahahahaha,lawak ,adoh ! :D
Si Tarzan: heran o.0 .... knpa kau ktawa ?
Si monyet tu ktawa sebb melihat ekor tarzan tu kat depan ...
-------------___________________________---------------------------"" !
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